Friday

Finally a few moments to sit down and write an entry.
I mean, today was busy, but not so much that I was running all day long.
The new manager asked about having some beers after work – but he gets off an hour and a half later than I do.
Well, I went and got a bunch of stuff done in that time and then went home and got the dogs.
Yes, I took my dogs to work – but after it was closed. The yard is HUGE and it’s totally fenced and gated in when we are closed. They were galloping all over the place! Yes, they needed some time away from here and I spent a bit of time with the new boss and one of the salesman was there as well.
Which meant I got home late today.

I am very tired. I was attacked in my sleep last night. I know this is going to sound weird/religious/I’m a mental case, but – it’s been my reality since I went to the mission field in 1985. You see, I don’t just believe in the reality of the spiritual realm and the beings that inhabit it, I have seen them up close and personal – the bad side of things that is – and it isn’t a pleasant thing to experience. I have some serious beliefs based on biblical passages that have to do with the demonic and the war that is going on in the heavenlies. Without going much further into that – it would take a book to explain it – it came into my bedroom last night and I was going through a battle the likes of which I have not experienced in a long, long time.

I do not know why last night was chosen for such a thing – but it literally sucked the breath right out of me. I spent hours in prayer and standing against this thing. Well, this is going to go over like a ton of bricks and I have no desire to go into all of it right now anyway.

Anyway, JD – the kid from down the street, just came in. I asked him if he had seen Michael at all – him and Michael are – or were – good friends. He has not, but his brothers have. His brothers are the kids I have thrown out of here a long time ago now and have not invited back for various reasons, not the least of which is theft.

I had already come to guess these things, but never said them because I have not had it confirmed. First, Michael is not going to school. The high school he is going to – or was going to – is the same as Caleb’s and their policy is 11 days missed and you are done for the year. Michael had 9 days missed after only a month into the school year. He has all kinds of excuses – most of them are totally lame – and I figured it only a matter of time before the school said enough is enough.
Second -I had 2 guesses about what he is doing now, either he’s living at home and getting high with his brother and the rest of his family – or – he found a new place to live that has the video games he so greatly craves. I wasn’t sure which guess might be true, but I WAS pretty sure that one of them was right on.

Turns out the first guess. He’s staying home, doing nothing, smoking dope all day long, just like his brother, just like the waste that is the rest of the family. I did not kick Michael out – he left on his own after the Playstation 3 broke – but I do not want him living here doing pot and not going to school anyway. I suspect that’s why I haven’t seen him – he knows I will not tolerate him low-lifing around here. He can stay at home and that mess is on his mother’s hands and conscience, NOT MINE. Michael will have to get high daily and all day long to be able to stand the life he is going to live over there.

Remember that he has mostly lived with me for the last 5 years. It is very good over here, definitely compared to over there where there are 15 plus people living in a small, 2 bedroom house. The electricity is on sometimes, not on at others. Water – same things. House – scuzzy, disgusting, a smell that I can’t explain, have never smelled anywhere else – but every place that they have lived at that I have visited has had that same, exact smell. At one place, it was so strong that when they opened the door, the gag reflex overcame me and I had to turn away and get away from there. Food sometimes is abundant, mostly is not. Michael is not a picky eater – good for him because it’s going to be slim pickin’s. It’s near the beginning of the month so they probably still have food stamps left – by mid month they are gone, they have both consumed them in buying food and sold them to people for 50 cents on the dollar.

I’m guessing Michael’s boredom will compel him to follow after the rest of them in a life of theft, drugs and drunkeness. Anthony, Michael’s older brother, has a warrant out for his arrest and it’s only a matter of time before he goes to jail. Michael has nothing on him – yet – but it is only a matter of time now. He is falling into the same snare and pit that is his family’s to be had. I feel badly for him – but I have no problem washing my hands of him if that’s what it comes to. I certainly am not begging for him to come back, I haven’t seen him in at least 2 weeks. I also suspect Michael to start diving into the depths of sexual depravity – the mind getting bored will come up with some pretty weird stuff to suspend the boredom.

Look, if you haven’t read my blog for any length of time, then just know that this is an ages old story that has been going on ever since I came to know these people, and I only know them through the kids – Michael and Anthony, both of which used to live with me. I kicked Anthony out quite a while back now. He used to be such a good kid. Michael the same – a good kid with potential, but that will quickly disappear if the information is true, and usually the sources for that info is good. There is nothing good to come out of a kid that isn’t going to school, isn’t working, living in an atmosphere where stealing is accepted and commonplace and the same atmosphere is one of extreme self-degradation in terms of heavy drug, marijuana and alcohol use.

I have always been fascinated by the lives of this entire family and all of the people that are living with them. I am not saying I like the way they live, I want nothing to do with it, but as an outsider looking in, it certainly is something that I would never find anywhere else.

Well, that’s really it. That revelation came as no surprise – at all. In fact, I pretty much expected to eventually hear this kind of news since I have not seen him around. I figure some day he will show up out of the blue – when their family is kicked out of their present dwelling place or they have nothing to eat. They are forced out of the places they live frequently. They either do not pay the rent or the landlord finds out they are literally tearing the house down or they commit crimes that the landlord finds out about and they are history. It is cyclical, it happens every 2 to 6 or so months and I have no expectation whatosever that it will end anytime soon.

Lord knows I am totally exhausted. I just had to get on one of the blogs and write something, I am going to bed soon. There are no huge plans for this weekend, just working around the house. I realized what my error was on putting down the grass seed, I will have to fix that this weekend. I haven’t planted rye grass in ages so I didn’t remember that I have to cover the seed up with mulch so the seed will remain moisturized. I have PLENTY of seed left, so if this seed I have already put down is ruined, there is enough left over to replant that patch of ground 10 times at least – probably 20 times.

I posted an ad on CL for a LTR – Long Term Relationship – on the man for woman thing of course – and started receiving GAY spam! Oh, and the 28 year old girl that replied turns out to be in Nigeria. Lol. Come marry your man sight unseen so you can get into the US of A and then split with him so you can do whatever you came here for – right? NOT!! I don’t really know that to be true, I do know that for sure – I did spend a considerable time last night in an instant message thing on Yahoo talking to her – I had no idea about this Nigeria thing until well into the conversation. She has sent me dozens of pics (clothed, thank you) of her self and the story in email and IM’s continue to remain consistent – but I am still not convinced of her authenticity and certainly I have a bit of trouble thinking of a relationship that might as well be from outer space.
I also was conversing back and forth with some other ladies – but they are too busy to even HAVE a relationship. I mean, really.

So, I think I will post yet another ad and see what it comes up with. In fact, I think I will post ads from here on out until I find something even remotely close to what I am looking for.

Oh, I could go on forever now that I have awakened myself.
Rather, going to end this one.
G’nite.
ben